The Truth About My Scratches (The Carolina Killer Files #3) Read online

  I watched the speedometer rise to seventy miles per hour, but that still wasn’t fast enough. I was losing consciousness. I blinked, willing myself to stay awake. I pressed the pedal down harder, needing to go faster. Faster. It began getting harder to breathe, each breath more irregular than the last. Bailey was crying beside me. Her cries turned into soft screams as I watched her eyes glaze over. My best friend was dying before my eyes and I was falling asleep. There was nothing I could do. I turned on the air conditioner, wishing it would keep me awake.

  My last thought was that we were going to be okay, that we had to be. I was very wrong. I saw the headlights coming our way and I heard the horn blare. I felt the impact, heard the sickening crunch of metal on metal. Feeling my body catch fire was something I would never forget, smelling our flesh burning all around me and not being able to move.

  My doctors said that with all the blood I had lost, it was a miracle that I made it as far as I did. I passed out at some point, accepting death. I still had no idea where I was heading. The last thing I remembered, before waking up from my coma seven months later, was feeling Bailey’s finger wrapped around mine. Even in the end, my best friend had wanted me to know that she was with me.

  The police arrested Mr. Brown, who had survived my blows but only barely. I had thought that it was over. I had thought I could move on with my life, forget it had ever happened, but I had been so wrong. There had been someone else in the room that day. Someone I had forgotten about. Someone who had escaped through a door when I’d attacked Mr. Brown. It wasn’t over, not yet.

  Chapter 14

  “It was you,” I said, looking up at Brayden with fearful disdain. “You were there when he kidnapped me. It was you that held me down while he tried to…while he stabbed me, stabbed Bailey. All along, all this time. It was you?”

  “Yes, yes, Jaicey. It’s about time you caught on.” He took a step toward me.

  I sat, frozen in ice-cold fear. “How could I have known? You never let me see your face. You left as soon as I knocked him out. You just left him there to die. You were a coward.”

  He lunged for me, grabbing a fistful of my hair and yanking me up to his face. “I knew that I had to leave in order to be able to come back for you. That was the goal: to finish what he started. You knew who he was. The police would be coming for him no matter what. But you hadn’t seen me. You didn’t know me. I was still free to carry out his plan. If you’d seen me, if I’d stuck around, I was just as doomed as he was. I couldn’t let that happen. He was counting on me.” He flung me down on the ground once more and I landed with a thud. He reached in the back pocket of his pants and pulled out a long, thin knife. This was just like my nightmare. Had I somehow known all along? Had my subconscious been trying to tell me?

  “But why?” I asked, desperately trying to buy time while I came up with a plan. I wasn’t some scared, weak girl like I’d been last time. I could fight back now. “Why would you help him? Why would he do that? My parents gave him the money. He could’ve just let me go.”

  “He could never have let you go, Jaicey, don’t you see? It was never about the money, never. I mean, yes, that was definitely the cherry on top of the whole thing, but it was always about you. About you and your spoiled rotten self and your rich mommy and daddy. You were just this spoiled rotten little girl who had the whole world handed to her. We had to show you how bad the world can be, don’t you understand? It’s so much darker than you believed. You had to understand that. We had to help you understand that. He said girls like you didn’t deserve to keep living, carrying on every day with this perfect little life while the rest of the world suffers every day. You needed to know how it felt. You didn’t deserve the life you were given. So, we took it from you.”

  “My life is not perfect,” I spat at him.

  He leaned down, smacking me hard across the cheek. “Don’t lie to me.”

  “But why would you do this? I didn’t even know you. What had I ever done to deserve this? He was my friend. I thought he was my friend, anyway. I cared about him.”

  “No, he wasn’t your friend. He was your teacher. Girls like you don’t know the difference. You think everyone loves you. You think everyone wants to help you out. Sorry, sweetie, but he hated you. He hated every single thing about you.”

  “Why? I want to know why. And you…you were kind to me. Why go through all the trouble to make me like you? You could’ve killed me so many times already, every time we’ve been alone. Why wait ’til now?”

  “The waiting was his idea. He wanted to see you hurt.”

  “Mr. Brown?” A chill ran down my spine. “You still talk to him? He still knows what you’ve been doing?”

  “Of course he does. Dear old Dad knows everything.”

  “Dad?” I gulped. “He’s your father?”

  “Come on, Jaicey, you aren’t making this fun at all. I thought he told me you were smart. I figured surely you had that one figured out at least. Yes, he’s my dad. After he beat the crap out of my mom one too many times, he was the only one I had left. We were a team, he and I. He taught me everything I know, raised me right.”

  I felt as if I were going to be sick. He twirled the knife around in his fingers, pressing it to each of his fingertips.

  “The lighthouse…that was where he kept us, wasn’t it? How could you take me there? Why would you take me there when you knew that’s where he kept us? Why would you risk me noticing? I could’ve remembered everything right then, could’ve called the police.”

  He laughed, slapping his knees. “Are you kidding? I saw how you lied to everyone, including yourself, about what had happened to you. It was like nothing had ever happened, like that night never existed. I watched you for months, saw how you pushed your friends away as if you didn’t know them. You didn’t think I hadn’t noticed that all of the mirrors in your house were gone? That all the pictures stopped after that night? I asked you about Derek, and you pretended like he was just some guy. I saw you with your old friends; I saw how you acted like you didn’t know them at all. He told me all about you, Jaicey. I knew everything about you. You could pretend that nothing had happened, that you’d never been the girl you were, but I knew better. The lighthouse was the final test. When you pretended not to recognize it, I knew I had you. You were so easy, just like he said you’d be. Didn’t you learn your lesson not to trust people the first time?”

  I was stupid, so stupid. I couldn’t believe how idiotic I had let myself become. I reached up to my neck, tracing my fingers along each of the three scars he had given me.

  “Did you really think that someone like me, someone normal, could love a scarred face like yours? Did you really think it could all be normal? That I hadn’t noticed how deformed you are? Did you think I hadn’t heard about you? The whole school knows what you did. They know it’s your fault.”

  I pushed myself up from the ground, bolting from the room. I bounded into the kitchen, searching for the drawer with the knives. That was my only hope. I felt his hands grab my hair. I tensed up. He pulled me backwards and stared into my eyes.

  “It wasn’t my fault,” I muttered, trying to hold my head up to keep him from ripping my hair out.

  “Of course it was. Who are you kidding?”

  “It was your fault. Yours. I tried to save her.” I sobbed, my eyes searching for his knife.

  “You killed your best friend, Jaicey. You killed her, let her burn in that car after you fell out. You could have saved her.” His cheek rubbed mine he was so close, his face blood red.

  “No!” I screamed, hot tears pouring from my cheeks as years of heartache ripped through me hearing those words.

  He pulled my head back, stepping out of the way and slamming my face into the counter. I bounced back, falling flat onto the kitchen tile. I rolled over, feeling for something to save me, anything to help. This time, there was nothing. This time I wouldn’t survive. Crying was all that I could do, and so I did it, loud and undaunted.

  He st
ared at me from above. “You ready to die, Jaice? Do you want this to be over, once and for all?”

  I nodded. I was ready. I just wanted it all to end. I thought for a moment about my parents. They’d come home and see my body, and I knew it would destroy them. I hoped he’d take me with him, that they’d never have to see me like this, never know how foolish I’d been. He leaned down close to my face again. I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow, waiting for the pain. Waiting.

  “So now, let’s finish this.” He kissed me forcefully, shoving his whole mouth onto mine until I tasted blood. I wasn’t sure if it was his or mine. I didn’t fight back. There was no point. He pulled back, wiping blood from his mouth and smiling at me. I spit the blood from my tongue. “I love you, baby!” he screamed the phrase that had once made my heart ache with happiness, and slapped me across the face. I grabbed my cheek, feeling more helpless than ever. My lips bled from being slammed onto the counter, and it felt like my front tooth had come loose. My head began to grow heavy, and I felt dizzy. He hit me again and I felt my head slam onto the ground. It didn’t even hurt.

  This must be what dying feels like, I thought to myself, quiet and painless. I couldn’t see him anymore, couldn’t hear him, couldn’t feel the blows I knew he was inflicting.

  Suddenly, I heard a noise in the distance. I tried hard to pull my focus back, but it was no use. I heard glass breaking, wood cracking. I heard a voice, and then another. Mumbling, mumbling. Footsteps. My eyes were so fuzzy. I wanted so bad to ask what was happening, why the room was going black, why everything in me went numb. Instead, I was silent, staring at the flashing blue and red lights on my wall until everything went black. And then I was gone.

  Chapter 15

  Someone was touching my face carefully with a cool hand. I could hear soft whispers, but I wasn’t sure who it could be. Gently, my eyes were pulled opened and a bright light was shone into them, back and forth between each eye. I wanted to tell them to stop but I couldn’t find my voice. It was down in my stomach somewhere, I was sure. Hiding away.

  The whisper grew louder, a soft voice. Paisley, it was saying. No. I tried to focus. Lacey. That wasn’t it either. Take me. No, wait, I recognized the word then. Jaicey. My name. They were saying my name. The fuzziness began to clear from my vision and shapes started to form. I blinked. Once. Twice. There was my name again. Jaicey? In you near me? No, I tried to focus more, willing my eyes to see. Can you hear me? the voice asked. The blob in front of me began to take shape. Mom. The word formed in my head at seeing her face. Mom.

  “Mom?” I croaked.

  I stared up at her, tears on her cheeks, her face pale. “Oh, sweetheart. Chuck! She’s awake! She’s awake!” She leaned down, sobbing into my chest.

  I lifted my wrist up to pat her head but stopped when I noticed how heavy it was, a red cast around it. I saw my dad standing above me then, rubbing my mom’s back. “How do you feel? Are you in pain?”

  “No,” I said, though that was a lie.

  My mom sat up, staring at me. “We didn’t know if you were going to make it. Oh, Jaicey, we should have been there. We thought it would be like last time…we were so worried we’d lose you again. I’m so sorry.” She cried loudly. I didn’t think I’d ever seen my mom cry before, not like this. “I’m just so glad you’re okay. We were so worried.” She kissed my head gently, her wet tears falling onto my skin.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Sweetheart,” my dad said softly, “you were attacked. Do you remember that?”

  Just then a nurse rushed into the room, followed by a woman in a white coat and another in a dark suit. “See,” the nurse said happily.

  The woman in a white coat, the doctor, approached me. “Jaicey?”

  I nodded.

  “Can you speak?”

  “Yes.”

  “Very good. Do you know where you are?”

  She held her flashlight into my eyes, holding my eyelids open as the nurse had done. “The hospital,” I answered her. I hadn’t forgotten this time. I wouldn’t forget again.

  “Very good. Are you hurting?”

  I shook my head, but then answered honestly instead, “Well…a little.”

  “That’s to be expected. We can give you something for the pain, but you’ve got a lot of healing to do.”

  I nodded.

  “Can you tell me how many fingers you see?” She held up her hand.

  Three. “Three,” I answered.

  “How is your vision? Everything clear?” She put her flashlight back into her pocket.

  I looked around the room, checking for dark spots. “I can see,” I answered.

  “Good. Very good, Jaicey.” She turned to my parents. “Everything looks good right now. Her pupils are responsive, and her CT checked out fine. If you experience anything weird,” she looked at me with a serious stare, “anything at all, you let me know. Otherwise, just get some rest tonight. I’ll check back with you in the morning.”

  I nodded.

  “You are one lucky, lucky girl.” She smiled at me, touching my arm lightly. As she walked out of the room she said something to the nurse, who then approached me and stuck a needle into my IV. Relief was almost instant. I smiled gratefully at her as she walked out of the room as well.

  Only the lady in the suit remained. “Hello, Jenny, Chuck. How are you feeling, Jaicey?”

  My parents looked apprehensive.

  “I’ve been better.” I smiled at her. She looked familiar, though I wasn’t sure why.

  “Do you remember me?”

  I shook my head honestly.

  “That’s perfectly okay.” Her smile was friendly. “My name is Dr. Townsend. We met a few years ago, after your first attack. I know you’re having trouble remembering what happened. Do you know what I’m talking about right now?”

  I looked to my parents and then back to her and nodded. “Yes, I remember.”

  “Good. You remember the man who attacked you three years ago?” I looked to my parents again.

  Dr. Townsend spoke up. “Would you guys mind giving Jaicey and I just a few minutes?”

  My parents looked back toward me. My mom frowned. “I don’t know that that’s the best idea. I mean, can’t it wait? Jaicey needs us right now.”

  “I just need a few moments alone with her. You guys can wait right out in the hall, if that’s okay with Jaicey?”

  “What do you think, Jaice?” Dad asked.

  I nodded. “I’ll be okay.”

  They nodded, holding hands tightly and walking out of the room, casting worried glances back my way.

  As the door shut, Dr. Townsend approached my bed. “Do you remember the man who attacked you three years ago?” she asked again.

  “Mr. Brown.” I nodded.

  “Do you remember the man who attacked you tonight?”

  I sucked in a painful breath. “Yes.”

  “I need you to say his name, Jaicey.”

  “Brayden.”

  “Thank you. Now, I need to ask you what happened tonight. Everything. It’s important that we go over every detail.”

  I told her, closing my eyes and remembering each detail. When it was over, I opened my eyes, wishing I could forget. I covered my face in embarrassment. She stared at me. “What are you doing?”

  I shook my head.

  “Jaicey? What are you doing?”

  I shook my head again. “It all just hurts so much.”

  “What hurts, Jaicey?”

  “Everything. Everything that has happened. Remembering it all. It’s like it never goes away. When I close my eyes, he’s there.”

  She nodded, seeming to understand in a way I couldn’t possibly expect her to. “I know it’s hard, Jaicey, but you have to know that you’re safe now. You’re finally safe. The police will be here later to take your statement. Brayden is locked up. He’s never going to be able to hurt you ever again. Do you understand?”

  I nodded.

  “But, Jaicey, I’m about to ask you
to do something for me that isn’t fair for me to ask. You have to remember what he did to you. You have to remember what you’ve been through.”

  I stared at her, eyes wide with shock.

  “I know that sounds crazy, okay, but you have to. When people are faced with horrible, traumatic things, sometimes their brains way of defending itself is to forget, okay? The problem is that you never actually forget. Your brain just locks the memory away and it still haunts you. You’re never able to deal with anything or to move on. Your parents said that you had forgotten your friends? Do you remember them now?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. That is what matters. Despite everything they’ve put you through, they couldn’t take your friends or your family away from you. You’ve still got everything and everyone that matters. They, the monsters who did this to you, won’t have anything ever again.”

  “I’ve still got everything?” I asked her, sudden anger boiling in my belly. “Did you really just say that? I’ve still got everything. Let me tell you what I still have: fear. Every time I close my eyes, there he is. When there’s silence, I hear his voice. My skin is still crawling from his touch. He left me fear, and rage, and self-loathing. I don’t have everything. He stole everything from me, do you hear me? Everything. I will never be who I was before him. I will never be able to forget. I’ll never move on. Everything he did to me, everything he’s done; I wear the proof on my neck, on my leg. I have nothing. I am nothing.” Everything in me hated her. How dare she say that to me? How dare she act like she knew how I felt? How I should feel?